http://www.makepovertyhistory.org I paid tax
Monday, June 30, 2008
could any song be more soothing and ivoke such emotions in me i dunno.

Cayman Islands

through the alleyways to cool off in the shadows
then into the street following the water
there's a bearded man paddling in his canoe
looks as if he has come all the way from the cayman islands

these canals, it seems, they all go in circles
places look the same, and we're the only difference
the wind is in your hair, it's covering my view
I'm holding on to you, on a bike we've hired until tomorrow

if only they could see, if only they had been here
they would understand, how someone could have chosen
to go the length I've gone, to spend just one day riding
holding on to you, I never thought it would be this clear

{10:47 PM}

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ording tmr. i should be happy. but i am not. haha.

when life hits, it hits hard. things all seem to crumble at the same time. u wonder if you chose the right job, if you chose the right people as friends, if you chose the right courses of action. and it becomes immensely difficult to remain positive when you start to doubt even yourself.

should i have gone into finance? signed on in the army? policy?

leopards don't change their spots. why treat unappreciative people well? why bother trying to change an individual? whey even bother thinking about it?

life's interesting sometimes because out of the darkest of nights come the most glorious of sunrises. the challenge is to stay positive in times like this. haha. what doesnt kill you makes you stronger. haha. perhaps i need more shaping up. haha. perhaps i should just react based on instinct. haha.

bah this is random.

{5:10 PM}

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Thursday, June 26, 2008
been teaching for a week now. haha. on the enhanced school experience programme.

i think i've burnt out even before i began. i dun find the passion inside of me anymore. i miss the army already. teaching the past few days has degraded into performing to the best of my abilities rather than out of dedication. haha perhaps i need something to reinvigorate me.

or else, i think i need to see how fast i can move on to HQ. at present, i suspect office work suits me more. sad case huh.

anyway life's not bad otherwise. going to sign up for stand chart end of this year. which would mean i should be running the ahm this aug with my bty. haha. must make it happen. every year i say i wanna run the stand chart but always find excuses.

oh and apparently my masters might have an effect on my pay. i'm crossing my fingers now. haha we'll see wat happens in the next few weeks. haha.

{5:48 PM}

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Monday, June 16, 2008
i have officially spent my first monday away from the army for a long while. on leave. really on leave. wasn't too good a feeling. haha.

surprised? those who know me better probably aren't.

just feel like i've lost meaning in life again. haha. no more tasks assigned to me. no more people depending on me. no more deadlines to meet. no more feeling satisfied finishing early enough to enjoy a game of table tennis. no more calling back the office to ask if supper was needed. no more collecting orders to da bao. no more planning last parade pep talks. no more.

cpt ong was right. i plant my roots very fast and very deep. haha. hard to uproot and move on. oh well.

felt like that when the bty was busy while i was on course and now again. heh heh. what's new man? haha.

anyway, brought my bcp out to dinner last week. haha. save frederick who couldnt make it. haha. had a good time with them. hope they did. haha. daquan looked a little disturbed though.

dauqan: the spontaneous and most hardworking. always keeps us guessing what he will do next. isn't as depressing as he claims to be.

alfred: the most efficient. the smartest too i reckon. always sacrifices and sleeps in the front. he's going to make it big someday.

francis: the "elder" of my team. never runs out of things to say, jokes to crack or faces to pull and make. haha.

me: what can i say? they think they depend on me during ops. little do they realise how very much i depend on them.

i guess its hard to part with a team like them. haha. formed through hours stuck in an effectively 3m by 4m cell. 5 people. hard to develop some kind of bond i guess. haha. will miss them dearly when i ord. haha. such is what ns means to me.

anyway, i'll be heading down to nie to register tmr. haha. and then head back to 21 to give my final presentation on learning points on FD to my understudies. haha. i'm unwilling to give such a talk because it really marks the end for me and i dun want it to end. i really dun.

{10:05 PM}

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Saturday, June 14, 2008

SUNDAY

Heavy night, it was a heavy night
Feels like we've just, come back from the dead
Heavy night, it was a heavy night
I cannot remember what I said to anyone
If we get up now, we can catch the afternoon
Watch the under15's playing football in the park
Let’s sit in St Leonard's on this alcoholic day
We're doing the best, with what we've got

I love you in the morning
When you're still hung over
I love you in the morning
When you're still strung out

I work hard all week and so do you
We deserve to let off some steam
Less orthodox creeping,
We need to rage through all of this life
There might be ones who are smarter than you
That have the right answers that wear better shoes
Forget about those melting ice caps
We're doing the best, with what we've got

I love you in the morning
When you're still hung over
I love you in the morning
When you're still strung out

When I'm with you, I am calm
A pearl in your oyster
Head on my chest a silent smile
A private kind of happiness
You see giant proclamations
Are all very well
But our love is louder than words

I love you in the morning


{6:30 PM}

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Sunday, June 08, 2008
booking in tonight again. and even though i officially ord on 1st july, this could very well be the last week i spend in camp. the whole week that is.

finishing up acct. got marksman for combat shoot (i think). haha. life's good la.

i'm def gonna miss the people in 21. my bcp team, my bro, my specs, my men, my battery. i'm gonna miss the bunk, my office, my table, the smell of chicken shit, the spell of doggie poo, the low water pressure, the 41 canteen oily food, the 21 canteen "on ah" uncle, etc.

i hate change.

{8:20 PM}

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You can't! "Change" is the hottest word in 2008!

For more info, ask Obama.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:05 AM  

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Tuesday, June 03, 2008
haha went to watch indiana jones with daquan today. haha. brought back some memories of the past. haha. i think movies have changed alot these days. was refreshing to watch something based on old school films. haha.

back to camp in the morning tmr. but will be back home again. and then back to camp at night. haha. travelling is costing me a bomb.

{1:32 AM}

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Sunday, June 01, 2008
back from the south. south africa. haha. it was a blast and call me mad, but i really wish it was longer. haha. am already missing the times there.

the scenery like every other country that experiences four seasons was magnifique! pitch black skys brusting into life every morning with gleams of yellow and gold creeping out from beyond the horizon. cold winds breathe life into rarely noticed trees and rustling thorn bushes as the light spreads across the vast plains warming up the frigid air. and even at noon, at the peak of the sun ascent, the moon remains steadily omnipresent in the now unltramarine skies. with the same amount of drama, the sun begins to "wane", first hiding behind low clouds, with some of its rays still bursting through, changing from bright yellow to gold and then orange as it settles behind the mountains. the sky now a myriad of colours orange then red then pink, purple and eventually settles into soothing, cold black. everyday all this happens amidst the lush yellow-green grasslands and rolling knolls.

saphire blue skys

ray bursting through low clouds. simply majestic.

i seriously never had so much fun outfield. and all while actually doing work. i guess the splendor of the enviorment, the enthusiasm of the company as well as a lingering realisation that this might be the last time i'm actually doing something like this all contributed.

my BRO. "you want good hides?" haha.

my mv maestro. "freakshow!"

had a safari trip and visited sun city during the r&r. haha. won 125 rand before foolishly gambling it all away again. haha. i can understand the addiction of gambling haha. hung out at the bars in the hotel very often with the lads as it was percieved too dangerous to roam about outside at night. haha.

the first bar. sundown ranch.

the table games were not open yet. dang.

the second bar. centurion lake hotel.

all in all a good trip! haha. facebook has more pics. haha. glad to be back in singapore as i chionged to bukit timah hawker centre with ian and ah poon for fried oyster omelette hokkien mee and carrot cake a few hours after touch down. haha. but nevertheless the memories of south africa still remain. haha. wonderful memories i keep with me for eternity.

{1:44 PM}

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Damn. Even the sky looks different.

=O

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:59 AM  

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