http://www.makepovertyhistory.org I paid tax
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
wow had a good game of badminton today. it's been really a looooong time since i had such a good game. and considering that i play at least twice a week, it's really is a long while. after playing with kj and his friends, i joined this group of 3 people to play doubles with them. played with them over the past few weeks, but today i was seeing the shuttle alot better and moving better. so the by product of that, a really great game for me. it made my day.

ah watched the chinese taipei (yes we should all adopt the stand our country takes on the independance of 'taiwan') open and had a good time last sunday. it's been so long since i last spent an entire afternoon watching badminton and it's been a long time since i watched both the md and wd matches satisfied that i would be happy regalrdless of who won. haha. watching sports does weird things to people eh.

anyway, more photos from the graduation lunch were finally uploaded on the math alumni webpage. here's the group photo.
i'm sure you can tell who the students are and which are the profs. except maybe the guy in black in the front row. the one right in the centre. he's a prof. doesn't look like one right? apparently last year, elizabeth and huifen were so, hmmm what's a good word, awe-struck by his looks that they sat in for someone's honour talk because he was either the supervisor or the examiner. haha! girls will be girls.

my grandma is going for a brain scan at nuh tomorrow. cat or mri, i havent a clue. well it would do her some good to get out of the rehab centre for a while. she has to spend 2 more weeks there. hopefully by the end of that, she will be slightly more mobile and less dependant. we finally went down to 'nation' maid agency (because xiang yun says its good. ya right!) to get a maid. she should be coming down in about 2 weeks time i guess. time to tidy up my room again. i hate people to touch my things. so the only way i can prevent that is by keeping it neat and tidy. haha. helping my mum pay a bit for the maid with the scholarship allowance i'll be getting from may. i've sort of budgeted for a few months my expenditure so that i will have enough to go to iceland.

speaking about iceland. i've come to realise, with the help of my trusty lonely planet guide, that the best way to tour iceland is to rent a 4 wheel drive and drive yourself round the land of fire and ice. this is perhaps on of the rare moments that i am very disgruntled because i chose not to learn driving during my first few years in nus. grrrr.

wimbledon is on now. so i have to keep explaning to people who dont know or forget that i'm not really interested in soccer that i'm spending my time watching 2 people hit furry green balls back and forth across a net for hours on end in stead of watching eleven time 2 grown men run around a field trying to send a newly improved aerodynamically designed ball into the net on the other side. i was afterall rooting for korea and japan which sadly are no longer in. so if i could have it my way, i hope france wins (only because i speak french to some extent) haha! but that in itself is quite an impossibility i think. haha!

davenport has withdrawn from wimbledon. what a dissapointment. i would have thought that she would try and make up for her boo-boo finals lost to venus last year. she really should have won that. she even had set points. dang! nevermiond, here's the chance for henin-hardenne. dementieva still has some way to go before she can really say she has a good chot at the silverware. but you never know, if all the starts are perfectly aligned, as in the case of mauresmo (what can you say when your opponenets in the smeis and finals withdraw midway through the match?).

on the men's side, nalbandian should be able to make it to the semis where he will probably face federer barring any upsets. henman is already due to meet him in round 2. talk about being suay. and as for johansson, hopefully he takes each match as they come along. so all in all, nothing much for me to cheer for this wimbledon. dang!

ok henin hardenne is thrashing the chinese girl. she has match point for a 6-0 6-1 win. oops. she converted it. so justine's through! happiness joy and jubilations!! time for me to grab some barley before i get sick (dont ask me why, i was told so). my mom sis auntie cousin niece have all gotten the flu in the past week. and i'm walking around looking like an arabian woman with a piece of tissue paper covering my mouth. i pray my efforts wont go to waste. dont get sick dont get sick. the rest of you guys. go eat more vitamin c (again dont ask me why). stay healthy!!

{8:39 PM}

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Saturday, June 24, 2006
i just formatted my pc. after a rather dumb attempt at installing some software so that i could catch some badminton live online, my comp started screwing up. so i decided that i shouldnt waste time in my decision to anually format my computer for the sake of increased longevity and decreased risk of a very fatal crash. well i'm quite happy with the way things are running now.

while waiting for the computer to install itself (funny how automated these things really are these days, i remember having alot of fun with the more basic DOS in the yesteryears though), i decided to catch some of the telly. flipped on to discovery (no surprise there) to find it showing a show called 'ten ways' or 'ten things'. too lazy to check it out but anyway, the episode was on 10 ways to remove a curse. haha! it was a pretty funny show i must say, though i can hardly consider it a documentary. in fact, the more i think about it, the more utterly hilarious it seems to me now. #9 on the list was the curse of the word. the name of shakespeare's play 'mac****'. well apparently some real like witches scorned at witch scene in the play and placed a hex on the play. so even to mention the word is to trigger the curse. in fact, on the opening night, the actor meant to play lady mac**** fell ill and eventually died from that illness. many other incidences of death have occured throughout the years in relation to this play. so much so, that even today, stage actors refuse to call the play by it's original name, and always refer to it as 'the scottish play'. now that's something interesting isnt it!

another interesting one, but not very supernatural, was the one on the 'hungarian suicide song'. apparently this song, when heard, would coerce many to take their own lives. it was written in the 20th century by some hungarian composer and the rumor was so widespread that apparently even the bbc banned it from being aired!! well it is quite a depressing pieces, if you want, go search for it, it's called 'gloomy sunday'. haha but make sure someone hasnt just jilted you or you might inadvertantly find yourself on the top floor of the swissotel here in singapore.

anyway, happiness sure is fleeting isnt it. i was sitting by my grandma's bed (i've said all there is to say to her these past few weeks, so time these days is spent in quiet contemplation by her side) and listened to the occasional moaning form this woman with dementia (and stroke i believe) form the oopposide bed. one moment she would be happily lying there at peace with herself and the next she would be moaning like it was the last day on earth.

life is kind of like that isnt it. moment of happiness or sadness can very quickly morph into situations of very different emotions. but that is how life works, and how happy one is in an ov erall state of mind, really is how one manages to grasp every second of happiness that presents itself as we walk down the path of life.

so i implore you, my firends, to celebrate ever tiny victory in your life as if it meant everything to you. the time you can spend on idle chats with friends. the money you can spend on a new shoe. the silly face your sibblings just made at you. why chose to go through life harping miserably on the negative when one can dance through it with a perpectual smile on your face. we could do it, if only we tried.

more on my grandma tomorrow when i get back tomorrow. the stuff that's been happening is rather interesting. at least to me it is. anyway, it's almost time to hit the sack. microsoft office can wait till tomorrow to be installed. nitez!

{11:53 PM}

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Tuesday, June 20, 2006
had the graduation lunch on saturday and i only decided to post now. everything went relatively smoothly and it was thanks to the select few who were organising it. managed to squeeze into a table with 6 girls already sitting there because hanmao was busy chatting with his supervisor and subsequently decided to sit beside him (aka, he pang seh us).


girls seem to like to dress up. even for a mere lunch, they are more presentable than the guys. we (collectively the large majority of guys) simply wore what we usually wore to class (the more presentable attires meaning no berms and slippers. ha!!). i mean just look above and then look below. hmmm actually come to think of it, we dont look that shabbily dressed right? ha!


took a few photos, then decided that i wanted to spend my "rest day" out rather than at home. so followed hm, yq and guohui on the north east line heading to hougang. had a nice chat with guohui at hougang mall all the way tilll around 4 plus that day and then took 74 home. a pity tkm was already in oxford and alot of the algebra profs did not turn up, in fact i think if we remove the algebraists who held departmental or faculty staff appointments, there would have been none.


anyway, commencement's on 9th july at 9am. that's like a sunday morning. and i think i'm sitting at a corner seat. major bummer. meaning only one person beside me. oh well. i have to go ask the rest about their seat numbers.

my mum's going to get a maid to look after my grandma when she returns from the rehab centre. finally managed to convince her that that was the best option. and coordingly, i decided to contribut 100 bucks from my pathetic scholarship allowance per month to help pay for the maid. haha! well i dont really NEED that much per month do i? i'm sure i can work my finances around that, the iceland trip, and my laptop loan.

i tried dou jiang (or is it dou hua shui, i still cant tell the difference by taste) with chin chow. it is quite a nice mix actually. going to buy some for my grandma today and perhaps a bowl of ah baling. she's been eating well recently and it's really nice to see that she' back to her 'usual' relatively alert and relatively energetic state. so there a nice reward for her. must think of other possibilities. any suggestions? it must be soft and preferably not too dry. she refuses to wear her dentures so she chews with whatever remaining teeth she still has. any help is greatly appreciated (no no rewards except one dose of my genuine, double boiled, packed and sealed gratitude) haha!

ok i've got to get ready for badminton. must not lose... (concentration)... today! haha! ciao! wow amazing!!! another entry that is not an attempt at a prose debating some highly philosophical issue or sociologicaly disturbing trend in singapore (aka no more whining and smoking out!).

{10:14 AM}

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Friday, June 16, 2006
a warning to all. taking care of your elderly folk in the latter stages of life can be and probably will be a very mentally challenging thing. i think they should organise seimnars on how to properly care of them. how to mentally prepare yourself. and how to deal with the stresses involved.

everyday when i get back from visiting the hospital, i feel so drained. i cant think at all when i get back. i just feel like lying on my bed and staring at the ceiling. i've been getting very edgy recently, and have been getting pissed with alot of my relatives. some dont know how to behave and some just dont know how to self-censor. or maybe i'm just being a bit too critical. you cant blame me right?

i need a break. soon. but i'm supposed to be having a break arent i? well at least there's that math department lunch on saturday which i can look forward to now.

the good thing about troubling times, is that it lets you reorganise your contacts. it's very interesting who you would think of droping an sms to when you're feeling down. or giving a ring to when you need a listening ear.

i cant think of how to continue this entry. i guess i'll have to leave it at that. you know i've always envisioned living in an appartment shared with friends. by and by as the days pass, i can imagine myself somewhere in the wilderness of some scandinavian country alone with 8 huskies. happiness doesnt remain a static goal. so how would we know now, what would make us happy tomorrow?

{12:17 AM}

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006
it's another trip to the hospital to visit my grandma.

the interesting thing about these visits to nuh, is that i actually discover more about myself there. yesterday i affirmed the notion i commonly put acorss to people about my inherent dislike for other people of no greater experience or authority to tell me how i should be doing things. yes in this case, family heirachy doesnt count as neither experience nor authority. i got so incredibly agitated yesterday, i could have gone to some toy shop and ripped the heads off a thousand teddy bears but of course, anger being my most easily controlled emotion, i did not. i guess this really proves to me how i am not a suitable candidate to start a family.

anger to me, is what 'feel good' foods and crying are to many others. it's a means for me to deal with a whole host of other emotions i dont want to deal with. i guess i've it's also the most convenient because i'm usually able to restrict it to an acceptable level before it gets out of hand. but being angry means that i also lose all sense of rationality. so even trivial matters will seemingly add to oil to the already blazing fire. which is why i guess in my case, i have a more stable relationship with my friends than with my family. the very fact that i see my friends less than my family means that they are less likely witness an outburst from me. also, it's easier for me to escape from a group of friends when i know that the time bomb is about to go off than it is for me to do so with family memebers. these factors alone, give me sufficient reason to believe that i'd make a really terrible head of a household.

anyway, my grandma's looking much better now (thanks to the nuh staff and not to the fact that she was recently baptised at the insistance of my auntie). is it me, or do the older generation of converts to chritianity seem to have a very warped view of the religion? haha! to me, it seems like after spending 50 years of their lives worshiping buddhist gods and what not, and then converting to christianity, they seem to practise and understand christianity in the same way they believe in say guan yin except of course now, they have 1 and only 1 god. it's very weird listening to my auntie talk about her faith in the hospital (actually it's irritating at some instances) because it sounds so warped to me. haha! i mean i dont proclaim to be one who understands the religion very well, but i've enough knowledge and gone through enough class to see the differences. but i guess to some people that doesnt really matter huh. but to me it's an interesting phenomenon. one of these days i must bring a good hokkien translator with me to a hokkien service and see what it is they really do there, to find out whether or not these things are actually being diseminated there or if they are just badly preconcieved notions that develop in indivuals that have made the change past the middle part of their lives.

arrrgh it's going to rain. off to nuh i go. must put up the polariod photo i took with my grandma yesterday. but then again maybe not, i look practically skeletal and my grandma looked a bit edgy because after taking 3 pictures with her, she start weeping because she thought that she wasn't going to live very much longer and hence the incessant photo taking. ah old people and their thinking. i just dont know what to do with them. haha! okie cya later!

{2:56 PM}

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Monday, June 12, 2006
badminton later after visting my grandmom in the hospital again. finally some needed exercise. i've been lacking alot of physical activity for quite a while now. about a week perhaps? haha.

oh yes. let's all bet on poland to win (hahaha siao!!). well the odds (meaning the money u get in return not the chances of them winning) are good.

anyway i was just thinking. how often do we trust what is printed in the newspapers or what we see on television. how often to we believe something that someone else tells us to. naturally, the ease of placing any degree of trust upon an article, a programme or a person comes with one has with it. by relationship, i mean the result of history that one has with the object (be it a daily newspaper or another person). no doubt, in most cases, children always trust their parents. their words and actions are usually taken to be possess an unquestionable sense of validity and accuracy, at least when we were still young. so we as kids will believe anything our parents told us, be it that tooth fairys came at night to exchange teeth for coins, or that if we misbehaved, the boogeyman rhat made our closets his home would surface when we were alseep to, i dont know, scare the heck out of us? but as we grow older, we develop a sense of doubt. we relaise that we never saw the toothfairy, and our closets did not contain some supernatural beasts whose only goal was the trivial task of exacting havok on poor defenseless kids. this plants the seeds of doubt in one's minds. our parents' words now never hold the same value of truthfulness as before, and we begin to systematically tear their sentences apart to decipher if there is any truth hidden within before we accept them as fact. the same goes for the media. the reputation of a newspaper or even a channel lies in the way information is passed on. accuracy is perhaps the most vital factor in determining one's reputation as a reliable source of information. this is the way trust works in normal circumstances.

but say for instance, right from the begining, someone or something provide you with information on things that one cannot discern the truth from. would one then develop an overwhelming sense of trust in that thing? or would it be the case that one automatically begins to doubt the reliability of such information. logically speaking, there is no reason to doubt something/someone if we have not been give reason to, especially if the it has the reputation amongst others to be a reliable source. but looking at it from the opposite side, we see that the only thing that could provide any reason for us to trust that source is it's reputation. and certainly it's reputation is made with the trust of many other people. so as one can see here, we develop a never ending chain of reliance in this case where one's trust in the source is based on another's trust and so on. so as one can see, when dealing with facts whose suthenticity cannot be determined, our belief is almost totally determined internally. that is, we simply choose whether to believe or not rather than rationally decide like an adult. we accept truths like that of a child, but will never ever have the chance to accertain the validity of these 'facts' and so we remain childlike in our trust. but the matter of the fact is that we do not remain as children. we grow up and our minds develop more complex means of dealing with such information. we move away from the simplistic "i believe becasue i am told so" scenario, to the "i believe because i know it to be true" or "i believe because it is a fact" scenarios and we tell oursleves that our judgement is more sophisticated than that of a mere child.

it is quite a task to question the things one holds to be true, and occasionally, we dont even see the need to question such beliefs. for instance, since a very young age, i have never cut my hair before sitting for examinations. i've always hastened my steps to make sure i cross a balck cats path rather than let it cross mine. i may say that i dont believe these things to be true, and that i do that because i'd rather be safe in case it were true, but internally i admit to myself that i do it because i am given no reason to doubt and at the same time no reason to believe.

i guess after thinking about this for quite a while, i've come to the conclusion that in my very own capacity, i should question the truth of everything that i am being told. such is the life of a mathematician. one learns never to simply assume that anything is necessarily true unless one it is proven to be. but more importantly, in cases where the truth is indeterminable, i seek to question the importance of the 'fact' in the first place. is it really important to me that cutting my hair my result in the loss of my knowledge. is it really important to me that a black cat crossing my path may bring bad fortune? i will not simply accpet something as being true, but at the same time, life's filled with greater challenges than to dwell upon the truth on something like that.

ok, mom's back which means i've got to go to the hospital. hope everyone has a good day!

{2:16 PM}

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Sunday, June 11, 2006
ah finally back frm the hospital. it's been a long day. for the next few days or weeks, those trying to contact me may inadvertantly get through to an alien sounding woman on the other end telling you that i'm 'not available'. i apologies for it now because i have to turn off my handphone in the ward my grandmom is in.



oh yes and JUSTINE retains her throne at roland garros! BRAVO!! felicitations!

i had quite a nice day yesterday after spending the week taking care of my grandmother. went to old airport road to have lunch with victor jason and yong quan. hanmao didnt go because he had some talk i think. i wanted to eat this wanton noodles that came with nice designer looking porcelain bowls. i kept pointing at this guy eating it at the next table, who must have though i was gossiping about him or something. my friend apparently saw the wrong bowl and got be some other wanton noodles with an inferior looking bowl. spoilt my appetite! hahaha! kidding, it was quite ok actually. havent been out with those guys for a bit. always nice to meet up and joke around. hahaha!

rushed to orchard to meet gerri and roon for da vinci code (finally). got there a bit early so i decided to drop by kino to get my lonely planet guide to iceland. in the end, we got into the theatre about 2-5 mins late. didnt miss much according to weiquan whom we met quite coincidentally after the show at the life lobby. had sakae sushi for dinner and then back home. it sounds like a pretty normal day for many people i guess, but for me, these kinds of days are very few and far between now.

anyway, i thought da vinci code was quite a good movie. it certainly didnt feel like it was 2.5 hours. i recall shifting in my seats for all other movies of that length wondering how long more it was going to be before the end. but with da vinci code, it was over before i even realised it was. i guess some scenes were a bit cheesy, and sometimes the presentation/direction of the film was a bit, amaturish. but i think the movie should be watched in the way it was meant to be: a movie. i suppose it helps that i am not a religious person and so it doesnt really affect me much. but no doubt, the movie has recieved alot of flak for it's contensious content.

we see what we want to see. how true. religion is based solely on faith. faith in believing things that other people tell you or faith in explaining things that one cannot readily find an explanation for. religion cannot ever be based on any empricial evidence for that in itself defines what religion is in the first place. so often times, in the interpretation of events or symbols or even mere words, we are predisposed to adopt a certain stance based on our beliefs and our religion. so a devout christian would naturally say that the majority of the movie was but mere poppycock. whereas the atheist would be more likely to believe the contents of the movie. but a stance which i think i take is that i neither believe nor disbelieve. it could be true, it may not, that doesnt bother me. what is interesting to me, is that the bible is perhaps one of the most extensive documents that give us an insight to life in that era. like all other documents of history, the words contains therein are subject to ones own personal interpretation, for we choose the way we interpret words. the choice for the gospels to be included in the bible are acknoledged by the church themself to be chosen by man himself. as such, one cannot attach an overriding sense of accuracy to its content.

the thing that can and is commonly accepted is that chistianity was originally a religion outlawed by the romans. as such, the religion was practised by and large underground. this allowed many different forms of the religion to develop. what is generally accpeted today as mainstream christianity is just the form of chirstianity that has survived over the years. just like how the religion is practised in relatively different fashions in singapore compared to say france or italy or in africa or in argentina, the same stem of christianity was practised within the roman empire. as a result of this diversity, there often develops different explanations or interpretations which have at time resulted in conflict. the reason why this conflict always arises is because we as humans naturally do not enjoy being proven wrong. it is a perhaps a very primal instinct which maybe by some darwinian law has allowed us to thrive in our enviroment. we like to believe that we are right because it exerts a sense of superiority over other members of the species. just like when we are challenged for land, we will defend this belief with the same fevor and determination as that of fighting for one's territory. while try as i may to preach tolerance, i occasionally find it tough myself to abstain from defending my point of view, so i dont expect anyone with a religion to back down from defending it.

hmmm i'm so tired i cant even think straight anymore. been thinking about this the whole day today and wanted to pen it down but looks like i'll have to leave it to tomorrow. urrrgh.

{9:32 PM}

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Thursday, June 08, 2006
i'm disturbed. well kind of. just finished watching another dvd my sister brought back, 'All about Lily Chou-Chou'. i must admit that when i first saw the title, i thought it certainly was another one of those joy-luck club type of movies depicting some sort of tribulation filled life of an asian migrant in the states or something like that. interestingly enough, it was hardly that. the title in fact, doesnt even give a hint as to what to expect from the film at all.


this in fact, is a japanese movie, a 'coming of age' movie or so described on the front cover. it is as with most japanese art house type of movies, a sort of exageration of the life of a 14 year old in japan. well, at least i hope it is indeed an exageration. judging by how i'm feeling right now, it doesnt take a genius to know that this is a relatively dark film in some sense. it isnt as graphic as say for instance "irreversible", in fact, its only rated nc-16 for some sexual references. but the ideas and the concepts touched are so real that i find it hard to stop trying to comprehend some of them.


i guess the best description of the movie can be summed up from the synopsis that is printed behind the dvd case: 'all about lily chou-chou is a poetically disturbing look at the terror and isolation that characterizes today's japanese youth'. and mind you the 'terror' is really quite something us singaporeans will in some sense (thankfully) never be able to fully comprehend.

i've read a few online reviews and comments about the show, it's rather mixed i must say. but the main complaints are the same: that the show cuts in and out of scenes very abruptly that it actually confuses one after a while. alot of reviwers also complained about the lack of identity or rather identifiable features for each character. it's is true that for the first 20 minutes or so of the 140 minute film, i had trouble even distinguising a few characters from the other, but it was pretty alright after that. i guess most of the reviewers that had this problem were probably non-asians. but other than that, i found the show to be insightful, thought provoking (very), and bitterly poetic. alot of people agreed on how excruciating beautiful the backdrop of the rural japanese town was in stark contrast to the on-goings of the show. many of the show's frank and brutally honest scenes were shot amongst lush green rices fields that somehow gave one the sense of contrast and for me, heightened the severity of it all. i liked the show and would most certainly watch it again soon, not in the next 24 hours though, i need to give myself a break.

it is kind of refreshing, in a very odd sense, to catch such shows once in a while. once in a while.

{2:37 AM}

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Wednesday, June 07, 2006
chang vs lendl at roland garros. perhaps the most talked about match in michael chang's entire history of playing tennis. he eventually triumphed but not before suffering severe cramps, executing the famous underarm serve and "forcing" a double fault out of lendl by standing practically at the service line. talk about drama, this is as dramatic as it can possibly get on the tennis court!



back to the present. both justine and david are through to the semifinals. henin-hardenne faces clijsters while nalbandian faces federer. the other halves of both sides of the draw have really opened up though.

had a chat with my sister the other day about stuff. one of the things that she happened to mention was how some people do thing becaus they feel obliged rather than because they want to. there is really a fine line between these two and it's understandably difficult even for an individual to identify the reasons that make him/her tick. for instance, when a guy decides to go shopping with his girlfriend instead of the seemingly prefered choice of playing soccer with his friends, does he do it because he feels that he is obliged to give up some of his time for his girl, or does he do it because he wants to go shopping with his girlfriend. alot of times i hear my friends saying, "i can't make it on that day, i've got to go (somewhere) with my girl/boyfriend". perhaps it has something to do with the way it's said, but to me, "i have to go" sounds more like one is doing something out of obligation. whereas if one were to say "i AM going" then that gives the impression of an individual decision without the influence of obligation. but of course, in our context, language more often that not, does not really carry the meanings they should because we dont treat the language with sufficient precision.

there are many times in our lives, whether one cares to admit it or not, where we agree to do certain tasks grudgingly. these are the times where the motivation behind our decisions are usually based on obligation. we feel obliged as elder siblings that we should give our younger brothers/sisters a chance to play with that new toy we just got for christmas. we feel obliged as friends on occasion to accept an invitation to an event another friend is performing at or organising when asked. we feel obliged as parents (not that i am one) to hussle in and out of the house on a saturday morning finding the right contact lens solution and chauffering our (again i do not have any) kids to their friends' house. do not get me wrong, i'm not saying that there is anything wrong if our actions are controlled like this on occasion. what IS wrong in my opininon, is our denial of that. sometimes we all claim to do things on the pretext of other more noble ideals rather than out of the simple feeling of being obligated to do so, and it is exactly this falsehood that makes the whole idea totally wrong. i feel that one should admit to oneself that we do indeed function like that on occasion and there is nothing bad about that. there may be instances where a melange of emtions governs the decision to perform an action, but when it is solely/largely based upon the social sterotypes that bind us into the performance of such tasks, we really need to take a step back to question if the action is worth taking at all. because if we do something purely out of obligation, there will naturally exist some feelings of disgruntlement which i feel is not worth the effort just to satisfy some socially-preset rules of our human to human interaction.

ok it's at this point that i realise that i'm becoming a little incoherent. haha! i'm hungry for my breakfast i guess so i'll just leave it there.

{10:05 AM}

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Sunday, June 04, 2006
watched x-men 3 yesterday instead of da vinci code because for some reason, the tickets for da cinci were selling out much faster than x-men. how weird. anyway was quite thankful that we watched that instead. at least i did not have to think about anything. just sat there and immersed myself in the flashing screens and booming speakers. haha but they killed off one of my favourite x-men since i was a child who was not supposed to die, and they never ever wanted to introduce my favourite haha! gosh it really has been a long while since i last watched such cartoons. the simple pleasure of childhood. the 30mins of watching x-men on the weekends was worth the other 7 day minus 30 minutes worth of waiting.

i've made a list of the stuff i want to get. then i realised that guys usually want a lesser quantity of expensive goods compared to girls who would on average instinctively crave for a greater quantity of less pricey stuff. i guess that's y it's so difficult to buy pressents for guys. especially if your at the age where you want like a 30 year old but can only afford stuff a 15 year old can. arrrgggh!

iceland iceland. my goal for next year. but alas what gerri said to me yesterday was quite true, if i were to go alone it would take alot of the fun out of it. on the other hand, if i want to do something i should go ahead and do it right? i meant with alot of people already working now, it's really going to be difficult if not impossible to find time to go overseas together. especially with jobs which dont exactly give you the flexibility of taking leave in extended blocks or at specific times during the month. bummer.

went to borders to look for the lonely planet guide to iceland. it took me a while just to find iceland (now i'm not even sure i did). i saw a book with the words iceland on the spine on the shelf with greenland on it. but it wasnt a lonely planet guide so i'll have to pop by kino some day. i realised after reading quite alot of books in preperation of my trip last december that the content of lonely planet guides seemed to cover everything i was looking for in a trip.


anyway both henman and dementieva (how nice that they are in boy blue and girl pink huh? hahaha!!) are out so that just leaves nalbandian and henin-hardenne. david now faces arguello followed by a probably encounter with davydenko and then federer before he reaches the finals. in the lower half, i'm sort of rooting for djokovic. h'e a gonzales in the making man. in fact, he beat gonzales at his own game and i feel he has the necessary power and consistancy to break nadal's run of victories. justine has an equally tough path through facing myskina next followed by a likely dulko and then wither hingis or clijsters to reach the finals. the other half is pretty evenly matched up with mauresmo, vaidisova, williams, schnyder, sharapova, safina, schiavone, kuznetsova, but i do hope that either dinara or amelie makes it through. ah wat a potentially exciting next week at the french open. luckily i wont be going for singapore open (yeah right! boys and girls this is what we call "denial"). speaking of which, i was at a korean page and it seems like they originally intended for their senior team to play here in singapore. i wonder what led to the last minute withdrawal.

oh well, it's going to be another boring sunday. a pity it doesnt look like its going to rain.

{12:37 PM}

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Saturday, June 03, 2006

finally got my new pair of badminton shoes. injured myself wearing the old pair which has faithfully lasted me for about 3 years. i wanted to get them during the singapore open, but i guess i won't be going this year. no one i really want to watch. both the korean and chinese first team members are by and large not going to be there. i'd much rather have watched the indonesia open or even the malaysian open. oh well, at least that solves the problem of how i'm going to get home in time to catch the semis and finals of the french open. speaking of which, henman is out, which leaves nalbandian, henin-hardenne and dementieva left. and dementieva is again as errativ as usual, she acually had a 94% first serve percentage in the second set and those serves were pretty fast averaging around 178km/h. but alas it fell apart again in the third. luckily she still managed to squeeze out a victory. i think aside from justine, she probably the one with the most tenacity on court. i mean with such a weak serve that draws gasps and on occasion even ridicule from the crowds, it takes a hell lot of persistance and perseverance to be able to get on with the game and to dig in deep to find victory. one word: respect.

played badminton yesterday with math pple. it has been a while since i've seen them and it's also been a while since i played badminton. so double delight for me. it's a bit weird. somehow i feel a little bit closer to the senior batch then to my own batch. the reasons are quite natural i guess. oh well.

caleb and terence should be returning to singapore in july perhaps? havent spoken to caleb in a long while. was supposed to go visit him at least once while he was in france. i felt i owed it to him to do so, after my last minute withdrawal. even now when i think about it, i still feel a bit bad because i was the one who persuaded and eventually convinced him not to give up on the fddp and to go for ecole centrale, i was due most probably for supelec but decided that it really wasnt my cup of tea like a few weeks before we were due to leave. well i'm glad he seemed to have a rather good time these past 2 years over there, otherwise, i dont know how i would be able to handle the guilt. but alas, everything happens for a reason, and i'm very glad it did.

going out with gerri and roon today. pc fair with gerri who should really get a new comp and then meeting for a subway dinner followed by movie. how rare such outings seem to be now that the doctors have begun working.

listening to kings of convenience again today, woke up with cayman islands in my head. i havent a clue why though. the serenity they provide is really quite something.

i love singapore with all my heart. but i just cant bring myself to support some of the stuff made my locals. i mean people were complaining when that straits times movie reviewer gave a bad review of jack neo's "i not stupid too" citing rerasons like "if we dont support our own talents then who will". but to me, i've always felt that we should not lower our standards just to support something homegrown. quality speaks for itself and if it isnt up to the mark, why should we give ourselves the leeway to be inferior? i've never watched any of jack neo's productions so i cannot comment about his works, but one thing that i sleaving me cringing nowadays is by and large the singing competitions like singapore idol. especially when i'm on a bus with tv mobile at the most unfortunate of times, i will usually make my way to the exit as soon at i know they are about to telecast an episode of the hyped singing competition. i mean it's just me perhaps, but i certainly prefer listening to good music rather than people trying to make good music. i mean yes one can admire their sense of ambition and their determination to achieve these dreams, but for a show that's meant to be entertaining, singapore idol gives me more goosebumps than anything else. but oh well, it's not something that i would want to whine about, just my thoughts.

my bank account is depleted again. sigh, so now i can only wait for an injection of funds in august. i realise that whenever i'm in the red (or close to being in) i always seem to think about the priorities in the things i should spend my future money on. that helps me look forward to the future.

ah i guess i better be getting ready now. dont want to be late again. i hope it's not too crowded today (yes kids this is called self-delusion. how can suntec with pc fair not be corwded on a saturday afternoon). haha!!

{12:11 PM}

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