Thursday, November 17, 2005
haha... got back my paper today... got an A+... feel recognised for being hard working and researching a vast amount of journals... yes i even had to go to arts to grab 2 papers... one from a cartography journal and another from naval research... haha... yes math is indeed so applicable... too bad most pple just write mathematicians off as living in a world of their own and doing really useless stuff... haha... well it doesn't matter... haha pple who do math are nice pple... we'll forgive the larger half of the world for their ignorance... MUAHAHA... joking...
anyway... been seeing alot of depression posters lately... abt how it is really treatable... one of the treatments.. well.. more accurately medications... is prozac... haha amazing isnt it... how one tiny little pill can make u feel so much better... haha... one immediately starts to think about human emotion rite? i mean... to most pple... there is some sort of sacred belief that it's special... to people who are pious... they believe it's sort of a manifestation of some divine power... or to those die-heart romantics... it is something spiritual and beyond words that really makes us human... and to pple like me who are... if u will... slightly pessimistic (although i dun really see myself as such...) human emotions are just the bodies' mechanisms in reaction towards something...
i mean it all fits well with any darwinian theory of evolution... we behave the way we do cos our bodies have evolved that kind of mechanism thru the years as a means to survival... we feel pleasure from victory or success because years ago this would mean we survived or would be able to propogate our species... we feel sadness or depression as our bodies make certain that we feel as horrible as possible so that we will remember how horrible defeat really was and be reminded of that feeling the next time we fight for survival... of course these words hapiness and sadness really are 2 very general words... but i think they all arrive from the same roots... the concept of our survival thru success and our passing thru failure... anyone familar with occam's razor would instantly say this is probably the best explanation... but yet most humans associate these chemical reactions in our body as something more... when really... if we look in areas like physics or mathematics... making such assumptions more often than not results in blunders...
and the thing is... regardless of what our goals really are in life... the main aim is to "collect" happiness... be it to succeed at work... or to have a happy family or to successfully rob a bank... or even to experience pain (yes masochists feel happee from feeling pain rite?)... i mean deny it all u want.. but the ultimate goal is to make urself happee... even if ur goals are centered around making others happee... the reason u do it is cos it make u happee... it's the way i believe we have evolved... a very simplistic bodily mechanism... we just tend towards making our lifes happier... now how the body determines what makes us happee... is really a question bordering genetics and philosphy... haha
so have i really painted a very negative picture of the world? to me no... but to others yes... so why is there a disparity... why is it that to some people... living in a world as described above is depressing... or pointless even... i would not dare to even answer such a question... but i guess one of the contributing factors would be that people do not like the idea that we's just empty vessels that are controled largely by the way the chemicals in our bodies interact... it says that we are in fact really nothing... we're just machines... actors on a stage with prescripted lines... they cannot... and will not believe that because it seems like it's belittling the human race... and by our competitive spirit... we dun like to feel small and hence our distaste towards that... but really... even if one accepts this fact wholeheartly... life really still is what we make it out to be... there really is nothing depressing about it... we're not belittling ourselves in fact... we're just not making ourselves out to be something we're not...
haha on a lighter (hopefully) note... haha i had an interesting chit chat session with my mum and sis recently... we talked abt death... and our funerals... and the funnie thing is that my mum doesnt want rituals but wants us to at least pay respects... haha... my sis really couldnt be bother but wanted her cds to be sent into the 'furnace' with her... i mean it seems to me like they sort of believe in an afterlife but dun really believe in it too... haha
me? haha i dun beliveve in it and i dun really care what anyone does with my corpse when i die... haha really but i would prefer no rituals... cos everytime i go to funerals... it's really the rituals part that makes pple sadder... and to me there is no point in pple crying too much... when i die... just throw me into the furnace right away (but pls do check that i am indeed dead... hahaha)... and dun keep my ashes please... it's just ash... regular ash... from the carbon that u and i are made up of... haha there... so whoever's gonna be still alive when i die... remember this... haha i guess some pple might say this is blasphmey and yada... but well... i guess it's just that way i'm begining to think... rememebr occam's razor... haha i wanna think simple now... simple is good... it saves u from thinking too much and u dun ASS U ME more that u would need to... haha simplicity...
{9:12 PM}
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