Friday, October 28, 2005
Hmmm... I was just wondering the other day... on a looooong bus ride to and from the home of the kid i tutor... how stupid am i really... haha... sounds like a pretty dumb question right... well perhaps... but i'm sure the bulk of us can relate to times when u feel like ur probably the silliest person on the earth and at times feel as if ur the apex on the pyramid of intelligence... well maybe not both extremes... but u get the point...
it's generally not a good idea to imprint the idea that ur stupid and ur a total loser in ones mind... i mean it eventually translates into lack of confidence in oneself and rock bottom self esteem... which of course is not a good thing in general cos it will... 'apparently'... pacify a person drive to suceed... and accordingly it is this drive that will mankind on to greater heights...
yet, on the flip side of the coin, to consistantly believe that everyone else pales in comparison to your intellectual powress is just as bad... but truth be told.... most of us dun in fact stay at one extreme for very long... we bounce back and forth... perhaps antisymmetrically staying in one region for a longer period of time...
i guess stupidity to me used to be a measure fo one's intellectual capacity... one's keeness or sharpness in dealing with stuff... be it academic or not... true... it is certainly very difficult to sift out the academically successful from the truely brilliant pple... but i'm sure that at some point in time as u listen interact and observe pple... there are often a select group of pple that stand out... these are the ones who when u start to look at the compare to urself... make u feel like ur the smallest of shrimps in the universe of big fishes...
some may say that it is precisely this feeling that we have to overcome because one is intrinsically better in some other areas... or that ones natural talent lies eslewhere... or even that god is fair and there must be some field u are better in... but is this really the way we want to think? take a 180 degree turn... when u meet pple who struggle to do things that u are able to do without batting an eyelid... it makes u feel superior... and yet you tell urself... no it the wrong way to feel... there are pple better than u... and not to get over confident... and so the cycle of believeing and then disbelieving in oneself begins...
perhaps real stupidity lies in how greatly we oscillate between these 2 extremes... and after 2 bus rides of thinking... i now feel that the one true greatly superior person is one that bothers about neither... one who noes his place and accepts his position... to admit to himself that yes he is not a genius and at the same time also blessed with a certain aptitude for something... to acknowledge that there are things that other pple are going to be able to do that he can't and also that there are going to be things he can that some others cannot... to accept that it is precisely this comparison he makes between himself and others is really the greatest measure of stupidity in effect...
all my life... i've oscillated between these 2 regions... in each one.. behaving exactly like the most stupid person on the planet... comparing contrasting...being in awe of.. looking down on... but yes perhaps it is time i realised my place... to not feel miserable that i look likea grain of sand next to a towering mountain... and not to feel elated that others may think of me in that same way... but rather... but really... to be more concerned abt wat i want to do and wat i want to achieve... sure setting goals that are unachievable may seem like an inefficient waste of time... but afterall they are just goals one works towards...
how often do we feel that surge of euphoria when we achieve something we set out to do... is it because of merely acomplishing that task... or is it really because we have done something that many others could not... discovery channel aired a documentary a while back... depicting mankinds thrist for competitive victory... we are hard wired in our genes and our body desgins to compete and strive towards victory... the sense of despair we feel really when we fail to acomplish something is really due to our intrinsic sense of failure in the competition of life... we have lost... and it is the body's reaction towards this event that scars our minds and makes sure we never forget how terrible this feeling of defeat really is... so in fact... as much as we would deny it... how we deal with intelligence within our mind be it consciously or otherwise... is really thinking of it in terms of a competition...
and perhaps it is a good think that we are competitive... but perhaps... just maybe... life could be more pleasurable for an individual if by natural selection... this trait was removed... haha...
{9:37 AM}
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Sunday, October 09, 2005
haha wow... really lost in time man... another month over so quickly... haha actually i've been having so much fun this sememster... haha almost no stress... or if u will... only fun stress... haha been doing quite well so far... so hopefully i can attain the proverbial 5.0 this sem... haha...
hmmm... well anyway.. my trip planning is going quite well... the flight from singapore to zurich has been confirmed and we're travelling via Emirates!! how cool is that!! and we paid like less than 1k... haha amazing!! also confimed another flight from stockholm to zurich... haha hanmao's booking the hostels... haha so far he's confirmed the icehotel!! haha 1 night there... www.icehotel.com/english/index2.htm COOL or shld i say COLD huh... haha
so excited abt my trip that i sometimes spend 16 hours in front of my comp researching... haha a bit extereme dun u think.. haha but well i dun wanna leave anything to chance... haha i want the perfect trip... haha
oh ya and i started giving tuition too... jc kid... haha charging sec sch rates cos i dun really have experience teaching jc... haha but so far i hope it's been a learning experience for her as much as it is for me.. haha really got to revise alot of jc math while tutoring her... haha hope she pulls thru her a levels.... haha
haha had another chat session with tkm.. haha and i realise one of the reason y i can work well under him is cos we have a lot traits in common... haha oh yes and ccw also had a chat with us one saturday morning after group... haha... it wuz only during that session did we realise the extent of his mathematical powress... hahaha
hahah ok now i'm searching online for some nice winterwear to buy... haha if u got any lobangs pls tell me ya... haha byeee!!
{7:24 PM}
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