Sunday, August 07, 2005
school's abt to start and here i am fretting abt all the usual stuff... will i be able to cope with this particular module... how well will i do this semester... well... education is supposed to be abt the aquisition and digestion of new information with perhaps the option application of it in the future... but yet... in singapore the harsh reality of things is that it all boils down to that last paper... the exam... i mean... in a practical and material world it's really not abt the understanding anymore is it?? for the past 3 years... i've taken modules to suit my timetable... and choosing ones i prefered only when they all fell into place perfectly... and now having completed enough modules to graduate... i can finally relax and enjoy the modules that i want to take out of interest... and yet... i find myself worrying abt trivial issues like the difficulty of the subject and my competition... it's something u noe shld not be the case and yet it's really so difficult to exclude it from ur thought process... i guesshaving completed my entire's life worth of education here in singapore really does provide u with a fixed way of thinking abt exams...
i sed to a frend earlier this month... that i had "supreme confidence" in this particular module i'm abt to take this semester... it's not really over confidence... perhaps more like doing something u noe/think ur good at... and yet... right after i secured the module (after bidding away almost 1000 points)... the first thing i did wuz to check out the class list... i just had to survey the competition... and the first thing i sed to my sis after that wuz "oh no... so many prcs..." haha now that i think back... i realise how hilarious it sounds... i've quite a number of frends from prc... overseas students who came to singapore when they were around 15 and excelled in most subjects... in fact... they were also nice pple... people u could rely on and people who wouldnt let u down when u needed their help... but i guess the one thing that really left an impression wuz their academic powress... and so a list of names... consisting of mainly 2 worded hanyupinyin names... does in some sense mean that ur competing against an elite batch... but the issue is does it really matter... am i really not capable of doing as well... if not better...
i guess this fear of a person who is intrisically superior in a particular area to oneself is a very fathomable emotion... but really... it doesnt do much other than to sow more discord amongst ourselves doesnt it... i read in a forum (though i seriously cannot remember y or how i arrived there...) abt some chinese nationals complaining abt the attitude singaporeans have on them... amidst the posts of blatant singapore bashing (which of course enraged me... but i manged to keep my cool)... i did realise that perhaps some of it was true... most of us are in some way or another guilty of one or some of the charges there... whether we care to admit it or if we just think abt it and forget without voicing out our opinions...
however... the line of argument that amuses me the most is that singaporeans shldnt be feeling this way simply because we're all chinese... i guess the distinction between race and nationality is quite ambiguous... up until now.. i've never really understood the rationale behind the china-taiwan tensions... does being ethinic chinese necessarily mean that u owe allegience to china? what is the very definition of one's race in the first place... The following was taken from www.dictionary.com
race n.
A local geographic or global human population distinguished as a more or less distinct group by genetically transmitted physical characteristics.
A group of people united or classified together on the basis of common history, nationality, or geographic distribution: the German race.
A genealogical line; a lineage.
Humans considered as a group.
eth·nic·i·ty n.
Ethnic character, background, or affiliation.
An ethnic group.
eth·nic adj.
Of or relating to a sizable group of people sharing a common and distinctive racial, national, religious, linguistic, or cultural heritage.
Being a member of a particular ethnic group, especially belonging to a national group by heritage or culture but residing outside its national boundaries: ethnic Hungarians living in northern Serbia.
Of, relating to, or distinctive of members of such a group: ethnic restaurants; ethnic art.
Relating to a people not Christian or Jewish; heathen.
i guess... this really doesnt answer the question conclusively... perhaps someone with an anthropological or sociological background can help... but based on the definitions... amaturishly obtained from the net... u would notice that the word race seems to encompass the notions of lineage, history and genetics... but to what extent are we singaporeans then history... our lineage possibly has it roots set in china... but how far back in history do we go before we can say we have a common history... which i y i believe that perhaps the least ambiguous way of defining race would be genetically... with percentages determining people with similar and differing races... but alas that is as good as it gets... we all look towards an identity for ourselves... we unite with people who share common beliefs for the benefit of our group as a whole... and when we find that it no longer benefits us... we seek another group or classification that enables us to meet our goals... perhaps it is within these terms such as race religion eithnicity nationality that we truly discover the persons that we are...
{11:26 AM}
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